Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Friday, October 26, 2018
Still
The mirthful, carefree child and slender young girl
I once was,
still is
She lives within me now,
She lives within me now,
beneath the layers of flesh and bone and life.
The child no longer frolics,
still dreams
Years of sorrowful wisdom entrenched the heart
with each emerging love and devastating loss,
optimistically embraced in naiveté,
jumped in nonetheless
still loves
The child that took carefully collected flowers
then proudly offered up, desperate for Mommy's approval
optimistically embraced in naiveté,
jumped in nonetheless
still loves
The child that took carefully collected flowers
then proudly offered up, desperate for Mommy's approval
told to, "Get those weeds out of the house!"
is overjoyed with wildflowers offered by her own children
still appreciates
still appreciates
The daughter abandoned and rejected by her fathers-four,
at ages 1, 11, 15, and 29, broken
Is
there something wrong with me or all of those he’s?
Still crushed
The sister who at 11, was forced apart
from her two-year-old brother and six-year-old sister
mourns the moments we'll never capture,
reflects on an almost empty time capsule
reflects on an almost empty time capsule
still aches
The granddaughter who brought joy to her grandparents,
got more than she gave in their ways of family gatherings,
gumption, sapience, astuteness, traditions, and their love
still wishes
she’d listened more, stayed longer, arrived earlier
she’d listened more, stayed longer, arrived earlier
The outgoing, talkative friend, always up for fun and adventure,
listens, celebrates your triumphs, a non-judgmental shoulder
with empathy to spare, will laugh, cry, and sing with you, any time
still loyal
The untrained mother
who loves her sons with a depth and breadth
of immensity beyond anything she could imagine,
worries what, if any phobias she imparted,
or if she made them ready enough for the world
of immensity beyond anything she could imagine,
worries what, if any phobias she imparted,
or if she made them ready enough for the world
wonders if they'll ever realize that their
lives saved hers
still tries
The woman who couldn’t trust or dare not believe in a man’s love,
fell in love with a patient one
Her demons of abandonment heaped upon his shoulders
still fears
Even though she knows she is
loved in a marriage
endured over 25 years of joy and frustration, of promises made,
betrayed, the downs, and ups of grinding struggles, passionately bound
endured over 25 years of joy and frustration, of promises made,
betrayed, the downs, and ups of grinding struggles, passionately bound
still his
The writer who fails to effectively articulate overwhelming feelings
that
cascade upon her
begin to engulf her, threaten to
drown her soul
Her carefree spirit
Her carefree spirit
still rises
The mirthful, carefree child and slender young girl I once was
still is
She lives within me now,
beneath the layers of flesh and bone and life
beneath the layers of flesh and bone and life
~Deb Galarza
This draft 2018/10/25
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Great Uncle Bet's Grand Tour
My grandfather's younger brother, my Great Uncle Bet,
remarried late in life. He and his new wife, Marianne, who were both in their
seventies, stopped by my house one day as they passed through town. I often
overheard the grownups in my family complain, his first wife was a nightmare
and made his life Hell, but that's all I remember about her. I do remember on our
visits to my grandpa’s family farm in, Pontiac, Illinois, Uncle Bet always
looking sort of sad most of the time, but not on this day, on this day, Uncle
Bet was beaming.
Uncle Bet's real name was, Marion, but I only ever heard him
called, "Bet." I don't know where or why the nickname came about. I suppose
I should ask one of my aunts before that information dies off, like the answers
to so many other unasked questions.
Uncle Bet had a brand new, top-of the-line, grand tour bike
that he and Marianne were riding across the county. They stopped by my house
for a few hours on their way through California. In hindsight, I wish I had
offered to let them stay the night, but it honestly didn't cross my mind, until
now.
Sitting in my living room, Uncle Bet regaled me, a now
ex-boyfriend, and my mom’s sister, with some of the highlights of their
adventure so far. He was a sweet man, kind, and thoughtful. I sat, and thought, how cool is that, for my
Great Uncle to be on such an epic adventure, at his age? I was both impressed
and surprised.
Suddenly, Marianne was out, cold. She slumped, collapsed on the arm of a big,
overstuffed chair. Uncle Bet, seeing the alarm on my face said, "Don't
worry, Marianne has narcolepsy."
"What? What is narcolepsy?"
Uncle Bet proceeded to tell us of this neurological disorder
that causes excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS). It’s characterized by
persistent sleepiness, regardless of the amount of sleep one gets at night. He told us to think of it as a, “sleep
attack”, where an overwhelming sense of sleepiness comes on quickly without warning.
Immediately, what was already a fascinating scene for me, was
amped, exponentially.
“How are you two traveling across the country on a motorcycle?”
My thoughts being of a floppy body, throwing off your balance if that body isn’t
leaning into the curves with you.
“I keep Marianne belted to me, arms, legs, and torso. She’s
light enough, and the bike
heavy enough, I don’t have any problems controlling
my bike, no matter where we are. I can feel her go limp so, I know when and how
to compensate.”
Marianne perked up abruptly, like a robot with a switch turn on, as if nothing strange had
happened.
Uncle Bet continued, “I’ve dreamed of doing this road trip my
entire life. Marianne was willing to take the risks and come along for the ride,
so here we are!” A huge smile spread across his kind face, they squeezed hands,
his eyes twinkled.
I was mesmerized. Here was this man, whom I’d always admired,
on what I considered, a brave and epic journey. I hoped I could always be so fearless.
That was the last time I saw or heard from Uncle Bet. I wish
I could tell him what an impression he made on my life.
~Deb
Janis: Little Girl Blue
Biographical Documentary
I just finished watching a biographical documentary about Janis Joplin, who, to me, has always been somewhat esoteric.
She died before I was 8 years old, long before rebellion and rock-n-roll entered my vocabulary. She was largely overlooked by my generation and misunderstood by others but MAN, what a powerhouse!
Janis Joplin delivered her soul on stage in fierce, raw intensity. Caution, if you have a heart and feel things.
Produced by Alex Gibney, Amy J. Berg, Jeffrey Jampol, Katherine LeBlon
Executive producers, Michael Kantor, Susan Lacy, Noah C. Haeussner,
Stacey Offman, Michael Raimondi.
Co-producers, Jayne Goldsmith, Jonathan
McHugh, Regina Scully, Diana Lady Dougan.
In conjunction with: PBS, Content Media Corporation, Disarming Films, Jigsaw Productions., Thirteen Productions, American Masters
production in association w/Sony Music Entertainment and Union
Entertainment Group
Thursday, March 8, 2018
More Thomas Fire Fallout
What rights do tenants have who are being asked to leave an
undamaged rental property after the Thomas Fire in California, presumably so the landlord can
re-rent to charge more? What is to stop a landlord from evicting current renters so they can turn around and move in a FEMA voucher holder or anyone else at a substantially higher monthly rental rate?
There should be at least a 6 month to 1 year moratorium on
evictions and rent increases without cause following a natural disaster that
leads to a housing shortage.
Rent has increased by $500 to $1500 in Ventura County since
the Thomas Fire.
20 months ago a single family home could be rented from
$1500 to $1700 on the low end, $1800 - $2100 median, and $2200 - $2800 on the
high end for a 3 bedroom/2 bath house.
Those same properties are now renting from $2000 - $2400 on
the low end, $2500-$2750 median and $2800 - $3500 on the high end!
Is it just me or have FEMA vouchers created a feeding frenzy for
greedy property owners looking for a government guarantee that isn't HUD? There is no question that property owners are taking advantage of the fact that
700 plus families in Ventura County are homeless.
The thing is, FEMA aid and insurance are available for
people who lost their homes in the fire. What about those of us who didn't lose
their homes to fire damage but are being evicted so landlords can rent
properties at higher rates or to personal friends and family whose homes were
lost? Who protects us? We're screwed without any help or insurance because we
can't prove that is what landlords are doing and landlords aren't required to
state reasons for evicting people.
We
think he wants us out to repair damage on the house that we were not responsible for on the
roof and the foundation due to a long standing plumbing problem, a broken pipe
under the house that went undetected although we complained about water
pressure and lack of hot water for months. Instead of sending a qualified plumber,
he sent incompetent, cheap labor, a handyman who missed the problem
altogether. Of course, the landlord wouldn't want to tell us that. It’s also possible that he wants us out so he can
move someone else in at higher rates.
We live in a small town where my husband was raised and
where we have been raising our two kids, now attending local colleges. I came here in 8th grade and set down roots. We don’t want to move to a different city. We love it here. We've always been here. It's our town.
Every
single day since we were notified that we have to move, we check every possible
source for available 3 bedroom rentals in town for the 4 of us and our dog
and there are none! When a rental does come up, it is either
snatched up right away, doesn't allow pets, or is too small without a fenced
yard for the dog.
Not only that but some property managers take applications
for more than a month even if the property is already available. There is an
application fee of $35 -$45 per tenant, 18 years or older. Every one of us has
to submit one for each property. That amounts to $140 to $180 a pop every time
we apply for a rental! We can't come up with a first plus deposit for $5,000 to
$6,000 and pay those application fees to property managers every time. If we
apply for two properties it will cost us approximately $300 to $400. That's a huge
chunk out of our budget with no guarantee of acceptance. Who keeps property
managers honest? Seriously, how long does it take to make up their minds? How
many applications does it take? It doesn't cost that much to run someone's
credit. On top of that, every property we apply for results in a credit check
which slowly chips away at our credit ratings. We can't win.
We just qualified for a $500,000 VA loan but the houses that
were $450,000 just 6 months ago are now listing at $530,000+ and we don't have
enough time to wait for escrow to close even
if we are lucky enough to find a house we like that we can actually afford.
The stress and emotional strain do not compare to that of people
who lost everything in the fire but we have to deal with the fallout and it’s
nerve wracking! We have less than 20 days to be out and still no place to live!
What laws protect us? If there aren't any laws protecting
us, how can we be treated fairly?
~Renter's Rant, Deb
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Election Day 2016
To state the obvious, Tuesday's election is pivotal. We are all responsible for voting our conscious and I'm of the frame of mind, you have no grounds to complain if you don't exercise your right to vote.
~ * ~
I do not agree with everyone's opinions but I respect the people I know and the fact you have your own values and reasons for making the choices you make based on your beliefs and life experience even though I do not now, nor will I ever respect Donald Trump. I'm perplexed and stunned that anyone could think he is Presidential material.
_____ ~ * ~ _____
I'm not a party hardliner neither Republican nor Democrat, I am an independent voter. I vote for the people who support the issues that I consider most important and who I believe to be the best person reasonably qualified and in this case realistically within reach of the job.
_____________ ~ * ~ ____________
I am passionate about everyone’s right to clean air, clean water, and a decent education and I happen to believe the science behind climate change and mankind’s contribution to it and the demise of polar ice caps. I tend to side with the Pentagon about climate change being a concern to national security. I firmly believe it is unjust for anyone to profit at the expense of someone else’s health and well being even though we all contribute to this spinning wheel inadvertently.
~ * ~
Aside from profiting through his own agenda, I don’t think Trump gives a rat’s ass about any of it and I believe his Presidency would be a major setback in the progress we have made thus far to combat these issues. All of the money in the world cannot fix the damage that our continued rape and misuse of global resources will cause. None of the other issues will matter if we pollute ourselves to early extinction.
~ * ~
I don't want Trump to win, not only because of these issues but also because I believe he is disingenuous at the core and any man that says it’s okay to grab a woman’s, “Pu$$y” because, “When you’re a celebrity, you can . . .” and then laughs it off claiming it’s every man’s locker room talk has no business representing any country! The men in my family, including my sons are decent human beings and would never, under any circumstances do such a disgusting thing. I like to think that any civilized man who has ever loved or respected a woman would not think Trump with his self proclaimed entitlement to grope women and break laws should be President of the United States.
_______ ~ * ~ ______
WHY I INVOLVED MYSELF
~ * ~
I'm not convinced that Facebook is the place for politics but decided to get involved because I thought it too important to idly stand by and watch people *mindlessly derail one candidate with propaganda and praise a disingenuous, misogynistic, foul mouthed billionaire who, on National television during a Presidential Debate, bragged about, then later denied he said he is smarter than the rest of us because HE learned how to manipulate the system through a loophole by filing bankruptcy. Basically he left honest taxpayers who would go to prison over such a thing, holding the bill. He may say what some people want to hear but I don't believe he cares about the middle class. I think he wants to employ people he owes and his pals and I think he wants to save on taxes for himself and his rich buddies.
_______________ ~ * ~ _________________
I say *'mindlessly' based on the parade of things people posted without bothering to read the stories behind the headlines or checking the facts or sources behind their claims and leaving comments on headlines without reading the stories thus basically not knowing what in the heck they or the rest of us were talking about.
_______________ ~ * ~ ___________________
I apologize for the length of this rant but it was written on the fly. Had I taken time to edit, it would not have been posted before Tuesday.
~Deb Please watch, Before the Flood, before you vote for the idiot who thinks climate change is a Chinese hoax.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Your Vision Fixed in a Jiffy!
Last night I was watching television when a commercial came on for Lasik Vision. The key selling point of this commercial was that you could be in and out of the office with the entire procedure done in less than 45 minutes. Why, your EYE SURGERY could be done in 15 minutes or less! They also added that you could be back at work the next day.
What a relief! Or not.
I appreciate efficiency just as much as the next consumer but trust me, I really would rather you take your time with my eyes!
It struck me as comical although I'm sure that for some doctors it's common operating procedure. On the other hand, it's not so funny in the way of its cow herding mentality. Doesn't that just open the door for doctor error? Too familiar, bored with the procedure in how it's become mundane, too many patients sitting in different rooms waiting? Seriously, why the rush?
Theoretically, you could have sharper vision by the time the National Anthem has been sung but you may be saying, "Oh, say can you see?"
I can't.
Link and credit for original video for gif:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oxmRT2YWw
What a relief! Or not.
I appreciate efficiency just as much as the next consumer but trust me, I really would rather you take your time with my eyes!
It struck me as comical although I'm sure that for some doctors it's common operating procedure. On the other hand, it's not so funny in the way of its cow herding mentality. Doesn't that just open the door for doctor error? Too familiar, bored with the procedure in how it's become mundane, too many patients sitting in different rooms waiting? Seriously, why the rush?
Theoretically, you could have sharper vision by the time the National Anthem has been sung but you may be saying, "Oh, say can you see?"
I can't.
Link and credit for original video for gif:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oxmRT2YWw
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