To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.
~Confucius
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Toxins Kill
No one reads this blog. It has been hit only a hand full of times by one or two of my friends and the occasional wonderer. It is here for me to coax the muse and vent frustration. For anyone to find this page a person would have to be looking and I would have to wonder, “What were they looking for, really and why?”
In my last post (now edited) I let venom flow from my broken heart on to the screen. I kept typing until every bit of poison was out of my body. The toxic feelings of, loss, betrayal, and bewilderment were going to consume me if I did not do something to let it all out. The poison rushed down from my reactive, animal brain, bypassing my heart (because it was broken into tiny pieces). It did not feel right but still, I let that venom flow through my arms, into my fingertips, and onto the keyboard. Completely out of character for me, I spewed out caustic sarcasm, in scornful anger.
I read the words through tear filled eyes and I was sorry that I allowed myself to get caught up in it...
I am sorry if my words hurt anyone and I‘m sorry that my apologies won‘t matter...
Having served its purpose, which was to absorb my overwhelming feelings of loss, sadness, and alienation, my intentions were to write and delete the venomous words and replace them with words of kindness. For, I know your heart is broken too.
In my last post (now edited) I let venom flow from my broken heart on to the screen. I kept typing until every bit of poison was out of my body. The toxic feelings of, loss, betrayal, and bewilderment were going to consume me if I did not do something to let it all out. The poison rushed down from my reactive, animal brain, bypassing my heart (because it was broken into tiny pieces). It did not feel right but still, I let that venom flow through my arms, into my fingertips, and onto the keyboard. Completely out of character for me, I spewed out caustic sarcasm, in scornful anger.
I read the words through tear filled eyes and I was sorry that I allowed myself to get caught up in it...
I am sorry if my words hurt anyone and I‘m sorry that my apologies won‘t matter...
Having served its purpose, which was to absorb my overwhelming feelings of loss, sadness, and alienation, my intentions were to write and delete the venomous words and replace them with words of kindness. For, I know your heart is broken too.
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